I’d love some perspective on a tricky aspect pattern in my chart. I feel like it’s been running (ruining) my whole (love) life:
• Venus in Libra conjunct Chiron
• Venus square Neptune
• Neptune square Chiron
So basically, Venus, Neptune, and Chiron are entangled in this little nightmare triangle. I’m 28, I have never been in a relationship, never had any sexual experience (just loads of irrational fear and just overall weirdness around being intimate with others) and my „love life“ so far has been nothing but unavailable all consuming crushes and fantasy.
On the other hand I get pursued a lot, just never by anyone that I’m interested in or feel any mutual attraction for. Going on dates with these guys gives me unreasonable amounts of anxiety and panic. And trust me I really tried taking it slow and giving them a chance but it always ended in hurt feelings on their part, loads of anxiety on mine, my entire nervous system screaming „I hate this“, overstepping my own boundaries and constantly having to push myself to be attracted to men that just don’t do it for me. Whenever I do find myself attracted to someone, there is always a level of unattainability/unavailability. I meet someone at a party? Turns out he has a gf. I have a crush on a guy in class? Turns out he’s gay. Meet a guy that gives me butterflies at a concert? He lives in another country and is just visiting… you get the gist. It’s like there is really no one out there for me to have a mutual romantic relationship.
Now that I’m in the midst of my first Saturn return the same old story has come up yet again with a guy i feel „meh“ about heavily pursuing me.
I understand that Saturn wants me to step up and fix my issues but i really don’t know how and it’s driving me insane. I’m scared that the whole lesson in all of this is „being in love isn’t in store for you in this life time, either settle with a random man for practical reasons or accept spending the rest of your life alone“.
Is this a karmic pattern that I could actually heal from or something to just accept?
I always thought it was silly to think that way but now that I’m nearing 30, I find myself thinking more and more that giving up, accepting a life alone, grieving what I missed out on and moving on as best as I can as a single woman is what the universe wants from me tbh.
Thanks for any insight/perspective on this.
Birthdate : 18. November 2025
Time: 22:30
Place: Viechtach, Germany
