It is certain, dear Megan, that your Pisces Mercury being your chart lord and being unaspected is a key player, as it is described by others before me. However, I feel that the whole chart has to be read to have a deeper understanding of your personality and issues that you may face.
I will stress a couple more aspects and placements in your chart. First of all Chiron is EXACTLY square your Sun and due to the exactitude, it is something that is very important in this chart. It also involves the Sun, your core being, your ego, identity and it is also related to your health.
Chiron is the wounded healer, it represents your greatest emotional wounds and your ability to heal from them. Being exactly square your Sun, it may stir feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem, but this also presents an opportunity for growth. What is more, Chiron is opposite your Jupiter which may be expressed as a desire for expansion and a fear of experiencing or inflicting pain as a result of expansion. Alternatively, your view of the world may have been formed as a result of disowning a psychological “sore point” or an awkward archetypal function. With the possibility of “suffering” constantly looming on the horizon of existence, you may have felt too fragile and may have thus disclaimed it and inevitably projected it onto a particular “other” (a person or a concept) instead. It is not just Jupiter is opposite Chiron; Jupiter rules your 7th and you may feel inadequate, which makes you fragile towards others, maybe because of possible criticism, or prejudice you have received, or you don’t feel enough “loved”.
Saturn is in 1st and it makes you reserved, distant from others too, as you do not know what to expect from others, how to overcome your personal issues, which make you feel as inadequate/inferior. You are definitely more mature than your age group and this placement may also be responsible for issues surrounding self-confidence, being reserved, timid or inhibited until you work on your fear of expressing yourself openly.
I feel that you are too young and it is not possible to deal with that on your own. As you grow older you may overcome your issues-we all have our issues, each of a different nature-and develop confidence. A psychologist may help you identify your wounds, help you improve your self-esteem, make you realize what a precious being you are, make you love yourself and teach you self expression. This way you will find your own path, discover your purpose in life, realize your talents and strengths, understand that life is not a constant struggle and ultimately go after and achieve success and happiness.
Depression and anxiety may be the result of your personal issues that are unresolved, your low self-esteem, your struggle to express your unique self. You feel that it is hard to be yourself. You are not alone. I am certain that there are people around you who care about you and if you cannot overcome your issues, you may need to talk to an expert about it all. The first thing to do, though is to realize that you are not to blame and you deserve to be loved and feel happy.
I wonder if expressing yourself through some form of art like acting etc can help you out and make you feel better. You have Neptune in 10th.
Do you take medicine already? I got bipolar as a side-effect of a pill I used to take that treated my depression. It is NOT a piece of cake, being bipolar, I mean! As for Schizophrenia, you need to talk to your therapist about it. Did a doctor diagnose this, or you are afraid that you have?
(((Megan)))
