we amateurs may do more damage than good and just set you up to have repeats by encouraging to be braver which results with more damage.
because fhe key to everything is learning new good habits of behaviour and to cease old behaviour that causes inviting old results to happen and makes you a victim. but its hard, very hard and impossible to do alone and you need someone to help you with this. because someone will point out your behaviour snd help you with techniques how to re pattern all your behaviour habits. when you study abusers you learn how they pick their victims and you learn what they look for, what behaviour their need from the victim. they dont just chose anyone. they chose people who they recognise are easy to victimise because they behave a certain way. so they take advantage of your behaviour.
but i will describe the potential for difficulties i see here but warn you….do not expose yourself in any manner thinking you might have a different experience…just because of a bit of knowledge. most likely you will repeat the pattern…just with a bit of knowledge to add to your distress.
the first patter is the obvious…pluto conjunct venus opposition moon. its the need to absolutely control emotions snd feelings and relationships to all depths. the pluto conjunct venus intensifies feelings and need for experiencing deep violent expression to feel the intensity which can be habit forming . it doesnt need to be sexual but most often it is simply because it is linked to pleasure receptors.
all aspects of relationships are so excessively under control as to be unshakable.
because of the opposition from pluto to moon, you can project it and bring in those who dominate you. all relationships, all expressions of pleasure and feelings and emotions, home, friends etc…. all are affected and can cause you immense control problems and violations of trust.
its as simple as that.
the other pattern is sun square both mars and saturn.
this one causes indecision, and uncertainty over what to do and which direction to go…and causes self harm or self undoing or self sabotage. you effectively prevent yourself by putting your own blocks in your path, by any and every means possible real or imaginary so you find it difficult to do anything.
whatever you want to do is sure to be blocked and is sure not leave you feeling you cant do anything. and if you do manage to begin something impulsively, because you dash off unprepared and without a plan, you hit a brick wall pretty soon after, so dont achieve anything. in the end, you are pretty much at zero constantly trying.
however!! both patters above have help from another much nicer pattern and you can learn to overcome some of this.
you have a very nice mini triangle …. a mini triangle neptune uranus to saturn and pluto venus.
meaning that with help of inner spiritual or inner inspiration and with help from other self help or psycho analysis, astrology and other unique tools or individuals….and also groups…(like aa I mentioned). you can learn to repattern habits and crate healing…of both these ongoing destructive first two patterns.
since it is a minintrinagle it relies on you to get help and on you to get help. you to learn techniques to help yourself. you should familiarise yourself with the minintrinagle, how it is composed, what it stands for and how it works snd what ways you can rely in it…because it id your gift to your own healing and safety…and progress.
so have the keys the keys to get help, you only have to start trying…and keep trying to unlock the first two patterns…and keep going every day.
find help…online, in groups… free help is available. but take care. the patterns are there for life. you can be a victim again snd project the energy to bring in abuse to you…..at any point. its a life long trauma problem and a life long exercise to keep yourself safe. but you have self help.
