I’m currently in psychotherapy, and I’ve also decided to explore my past from an astrological perspective to gain some additional insight.
I’d love to know if this shows up in my chart, what the lesson might be, and whether there are any triggers for change coming up soon.
Lately, I’ve been feeling strong regret and a deep sense of missed opportunities connected to choices I made from my high school years onward.
I dropped out of school, became religious, cut ties with my childhood friends and close circle, joined the army, and then later left religion.
I tried — unsuccessfully — to reconnect and repair those relationships.
Around 10th to 12th grade, I turned to religion and left high school to study in a Haredi yeshiva. At 21, I left religion, left the yeshiva, and then enlisted in the army.
It took me years to complete my studies, relearn how to communicate,
and attempt to rebuild connections. I never really succeeded, which led to a long period of loneliness, with most relationships I formed being quite superficial.
I also carry regrets over missed romantic opportunities that slipped away because of religious restrictions — a constant sense of “if only.”
My life has often felt like a chain reaction, one event setting off another, until I found myself on a path I’m not truly at peace with. I keep telling myself:
If I had chosen differently back then, maybe today I’d be in a much better place. It feels like a domino effect.
More than ever, these thoughts keep resurfacing. I feel mentally disconnected — from family, friends, and colleagues.
Right now, I don’t have a genuine relationship in my life.
That’s what led me to therapy.
I often find myself stuck in thoughts of the past — wondering if things could have turned out differently
if I had made other choices, acted differently, resisted influence, or thought more critically before making extreme decisions.
What do you think?
