When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
“1.5 years ago a spiritual experience began in my life.
It came for me.
It put me in deep terror and it is not something that I can explain easily.
It pushed me towards God daily in prayer and the Bible more than ever before.
I had unexplainable desires to throw away movies, music and books and my being has become very sensitive.
The terror was unlike anything I’ve experienced and I lost weight and had constant bronchial infections.
One evening I was sitting on the side of my couch in terror and I had that motive –that cry for help to God and immediately it came to me.
It didn’t move through me, nor did it speak to me, it just was given to me. Calm. Terror was gone.
I was given relief and I knew … just knew that God was here. We are watched.
Since then it encouraged me to persevere through the terror.
A lot of writing and prayer happened and I had a vision of my mind being a parking lot of heaved-up rocks.
I was relaxing as light was shed on many patterns in my life.
This is still the process I am in now.
A lot of the terror has ceased and I know I’m better as I see my dream life becoming more friendly.
Not so many demons trying to possess me or whatever that even meant at the time.
I know that everything I’ve ever prayed for has come true.
I know that whatever I ask with confidence will happen.
I know that this holds true for fears too.
This itself has scared me.
How do I have fun when I’m with others when some of these nasty self-judgments are going through my mind?
When will they go away?
I realized that once I earnestly stopped judging others, there was a level of myself I judged.
I am essentially afraid of my own thinking if this makes sense to you.
How do I get past this?
I’ve always been a Christian and never dabbled in dark places.
This has been confusing. There is a way for me and I know it’s here… where? I can’t see it.”
My Response:
I’m glad that your calming experience of the divine has relieved you of the terror you were in.
It sounds as if you are still dealing with some of the aftereffects of this experience in the form of fears and self-judgment.
If you find your mind drifting off onto self-critical thinking, don’t fight against it or get angry or frustrated with yourself.
Just acknowledge that this mental pattern comes from your past conditioning and that it no longer represents what you want to create for yourself.
Then simply shift your attention to that which you do want to grow in your life.
All this can be done gently and without self-recrimination.
Once you shift your attention away from these self-destructive patterns, they will eventually fade away.
Love,
Deepak
