If you are a human and you work with other humans, conflict is unavoidable. If you’re leading a team, you’ll also likely have countless opportunities to support and influence the culture around these disputes. Though few may genuinely enjoy this heavy task, growth happens here, and it’s crucial to approach this responsibility with intention.
Sara Kaiser, director of student disability resources and academic support at the University of North Dakota, has over 11 years of experience directing teams of students and faculty. Her philosophy for navigating conflict among those teams stems from the words of researcher and world-renowned author Brené Brown: “Clear is kind.”
“I try to approach conflict within a team using the same lens. I want to be clear about my expectations. I also approach interpersonal conflict within teams the same way. If two colleagues are having difficulties communicating, it’s usually because they aren’t being clear about what they need or what is bothering them,” says Kaiser. “Passive aggressiveness is a killer for teams and makes a small issue turn into a giant pothole. Conflict within teams rarely starts because of an issue with a work product but rather effort or attitude. Addressing it directly, with clear guidance and expectations, helps everyone stay on the same side working towards the same goal.”
Conflict takes various forms. As a leader, you might encounter conflict between teammates, between you and an employee or perhaps even just an uncomfortable, lingering tension among an entire team or department. Even so, the beautiful and constant truth to these is that you are always in control of your response. While you might not always be able to control the outcomes of these challenges, you can significantly influence how you and your team come out on the other side. With your response, you can foster a culture where conflict is not the end-all.
1. Pause. Assess the situation
The first step to handling any conflict is to assess the situation. While we might sometimes want to respond quickly, pausing and assessing first is crucial. A leader Kaiser highly recommends to follow online for insights into team management and communication is Justin Mecham, an executive coach and business consultant with over 20 years of experience helping leaders develop their skills and create positive cultures.
Mecham encourages you to take a step back and consider any external or internal factors contributing to the conflict your team is experiencing. Ask yourself, “Are the actions intentional? Are they stress-driven? Is the conflict a matter of workplace challenges, or is there something deeper going on?” Understanding the big picture before determining how to address it can benefit both you and each of the parties involved.
2. Praise in public; address in private
While publicly praising your team members boosts morale and creates a positive culture of recognition, the opposite could happen if you take that approach to addressing conflicts.
Address behaviors that are harmful to the team privately first. Every situation has its own context. Every leader has their own preference. Consider if it’s best to meet with each member of the dispute individually before deciding on the next steps. Doing so can allow necessary space and time to consider potential discrepancies or sides of the same story.
On the other hand, Kaiser notes that if two members of a team are having difficulties with each other, she asks them to discuss it together first.
“Running to the boss every time you have a disagreement creates a workplace of mistrust. I trust my team to do quality work and be quality individuals,” she says. “That means handling disagreements in a professional manner. If, after meeting and trying to resolve the situation, there are still concerns, then I’m willing to meet with both parties, together.”
However you choose to handle this step, each interaction’s goal remains the same: Prioritize ensuring your team members feel comfortable enough to speak up with their concerns without fearing retaliation from anyone else involved—you included.
“Creating a culture of trust is imperative for the leader,” Kaiser says. “If my staff don’t trust me to be fair and honest, the entire team will always be dysfunctional.”
3. Use open communication to catch potential conflicts
While you might be focused on how to handle conflict when it arises in the moment, keep in mind that sometimes it’s also possible to prevent it from happening or escalating in the first place.
Kaiser recommends regularly checking in with your staff to keep the communication line open, such as weekly one-on-one meetings. Structure these meetings as their time to ideally bring up any concerns or challenges before they escalate to conflicts.
“They run the meeting and bring concerns, issues and questions to me,” she says. “What do they need from me to be successful? What’s working well? Often, I’ll ask for the ‘3 H’s’ if they tell me, ‘I don’t really have anything for you.’ ‘Tell me a highlight from your work. What do you need help with? Is there a situation where you need to give me a heads-up?’ I don’t like surprises; keeping open lines of communication is key.”
4. Conflict still happened. Now what?
It’s OK. No matter how diligently you try to keep communication lines open and prevent conflict, there will be times when it happens. Remember, it’s inevitable, and this is where the growth happens. When it does, let curiosity and compassion guide you.
Kaiser says her team has a few principles that help them navigate working with each other and challenging clients or situations. The first is to “never make assumptions.”
Ask open-ended questions to understand the situation and perspectives better. Show patience, active listening and genuine care for their well-being. Respect each party’s feelings and validate their emotions. Finally, share their main concerns back to them to show your understanding and reduce heightened emotions.
5. Actions over attitudes: Redirect to solutions and establish expectations
Now, it’s time for the resolution part of all of this. Mecham reminds his audiences that this is about addressing the actions leading to the conflict, not criticizing personalities. Avoid letting your own personal feelings about a person contribute to how you handle their particular conflict or one they are a part of.
Kaiser advises those ready to handle a conflict to be direct. “As a new supervisor or leader this can be really challenging,” she says. “Everyone wants to be liked and wants someone else to be the bad guy. Be direct about what you need.”
6. Do I have to do this in person?
“Generally, direct communication should be done face to face,” Kaiser says. “In this work world, Zoom may be the best option, but never email. Email is the No. 1 creator of conflict. Too many assumptions about tone and intent are made using email, making a difficult situation worse.”
7. It’s rarely black and white
Perhaps someone will unquestionably be in the wrong, perhaps not. In either scenario, remember that you have the power to set each team member up for success—however that might look for them. Keep this front of mind and come back to it as your anchor when leadership feels confusing. Your team will appreciate you for it.
This article originally appeared in the May 2025 issue of SUCCESS+ digital magazine. Photo by fizkes/Shutterstock.com.
