When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
In deep meditation (some months ago), I found myself looking at myself from a place that seemed to be a bit behind and above my head. I felt completely safe and harmonious but what I saw from this place was a person living in fear. I wasn’t worried about this person, I just watched her and understood that this fearful person is the one I am in my daily life. This was a nice experience, but also a bit confusing, how I became someone who watched the one I think I am. I really do wonder who I really am. Maybe there’s even someone watching the one who was watching.
Do you really think that we are anyone at all? I feel a bit of a stranger to myself and I really do wonder where I got all the ideas about myself from the very beginning. I also find it strange (and a bit funny) how people in this world really have managed to convince themselves of being the one they are. As you understand, there’s a lot going on in my mind and I feel confused about myself and reality. It’s almost as if nothing is completely real at all. Intellectually I do know there is an absolute reality behind everything but how do I reach this reality, get rid of all confusion and get answers to my existential questions? On a daily basis I do meditation by focusing on my breath. Are there any better and more efficient technique for this purpose?
Response:
This feeling experience of a separate self observing your conditioned-personality self is a common experience for many people who meditate. That non-local self that isn’t worried or fearful—that is your real self. That silent witness may not seem real compared to your fearful self, but that is only because of the social conditioning we all have built up, associating reality with physicality. As you mentioned, it can be a little confusing at first living in these two realms, but as you get acclimated to this deeper Self and consolidate your identity around this new mode of being, you will find life much smoother, more enjoyable and more effective. This self-awakening will provide the reference point for understanding all that you want to know. The meditation you are doing now is sufficient, so continue as you have been doing, and your questions will be answered from within.
Love,
Deepak
