you will read that i put you in center of your life because i am a person who knows that we are responsible for our lives. nobody else is. we create our circumstance. we do everything for a purpose. sometimes failure is or severity of some sort, is our purpose in order to learn something. But the chart would support this.
In your case I see a tsquare causing poisonous relationships. and a need for totalitarian control over your life and mind.
but I also see a grand trine and two mini triangles. So you are very talented and could be very successful. . Those far outweigh the aforementiomed difficult configurations. yet you let the meanness of thise strangle your life totally.
I am not going to focus on your poisonous relationships. that venus position is pretty much burnt and trapped. its frazzled to a cinder beyond redemption. Its a string sign that you chose to hamper yourself in this life… coming down to a country as a female by making sure you would nit be trapped in a typical female subserving role by accepting to strangle the venus. but in our society where indoctrination and hormones are both strong…its a hell of an ask to go without. its impossible. so the torture takes a lot of focus and energy derailing you. it is what it is. it will always be. some transit may help for a bit but the torture will always return. and it sure feels so much colder after a few minutes of warmth! its torture.
your pluto opposition sun mercury in fixed signs is what you now use to project this destructive, torturous destruction and major damaging debilitation in your core self. you have projected yourself into this and want it to continue. You are unable to change and dont want to.
you are by nature a highly stable person. both the sun and mercury are well aspected for success. So you should be a very successful person. But you arent. So what prevents you? I think its that you have become attached to a position that is not benefitting you in the least and have allowed the familiarity to entrap you. you have projected power. You were released by the lockdown. But back you went to the same low position. you threw into the mix two scenarios to again release yourself. one was legal and one was a person. in fact its a two in one here. the power of your person now torturing you and the power of the system now torturing you. its in fact all boils down to …..relationships!
going home wont change a thing. you will recreate this.
projecting a sulky child to go home sulk and jail yourself in yet another torturous low level dead end life wont be working with the problem of learning to deal with torturous relationships of crippled venus which represents all that you value …all and every type…and the projected power of control and destruction of pluto over you that you create.
the only way I see is for you to get professional help to learn skills to deal with these two factors…creating or working with power of others over you and all values and relationships.
stay or go…and to where… isnt important. but getting help in india may not be as easy as US and other western countries. And without this help you are stacking the chips against self growth.
if you do go back to india because you want to….dont stay. see it as temporary to rest recover and plan the next step. frankly I would use my savings to upscale skills towards AI. perhaps consider doing a masters degree or even better a phd in AI…or security….at a good western university…findaphd.com… a funded phd pays enough to live on, so using savings would lighten the load a bit. industry loves phd with industry experience!… then go via a good position to another country (that doesnt have the enormous and severe misuse of visas), but really it doesnt matter where…. to gain experience for two years or do post grad research ….to peg you at a high talent level person and then return to US via the right talent visa of a high skilled professional.
Anything else is harmful and making you a victim. Aim high. the sh t will still be around you. you will still project power. you will still be a victim. but at a higher more successful level.
its the best you can do. if you have to be kept down… chose a high level to sit on!
its worthwhile sacrifice to give you the power and options you need.
