When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
I’m curious. I’ve started researching different ideas about love, soul mates, marriage and the evolution of human sexuality. My question, or rather the subject I’d like to get some feedback on, is this. Is commitment to one other human being natural in modern times or have we, as human beings, outgrown the idea? I adore the idea of marriage and growing over the years with a romantic partner. But I can never seem to settle down. I’ve had wonderful relationships with some amazing men but I am actively ‘open’ to finding something better. I’ve heard for years that when it’s right, ‘you’ll just know’. I was married once (at a very young age) and that didn’t work out for very obvious reasons. We are now wonderful friends and while I don’t feel angry or jaded by the experience, I wonder if perhaps I somehow spiritually and intellectually shut myself off to a serious, long-term, committed monogamous relationship. I’m now at a point in my life where I’d like very much to settle down. There are three men that I’ve seen on and off within a 2-3 year time period, all of whom I’m great friends with, that I would consider settling down with. I’m not sure which, if any of them, are ‘right’ for me.
Response:
I don’t see this as a matter of determining which theory of human relationship is correct. You need to determine what kind of emotional and spiritual growth you intend for yourself and what kind of relationship is supportive of that. If you are not looking for the kind of development that comes from a committed relationship, then there is no point in beating yourself up for not being in one. If, as you say, you adore the idea of being married and growing with that person for many years, then perhaps you haven’t found the right fit yet. But also, it seems likely that you are a bit afraid of settling down, afraid of making the wrong decision. Instead of putting it in those terms, ask yourself which of the three guys you feel the most relaxed and comfortable with? Which of them brings out the best in you? Who can you see yourself with in 20 years?
Love,
Deepak
