When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
Hi. I am a 23-year-old male and have always felt a spiritual void or restlessness my entire life. Recently, I have discovered meditation and when I allow myself to simply feel and be aware of my own truth, it is very beneficial. In my first serious intimate relationship with a woman, sex was always an anxious experience and I developed more and more anxiety throughout the relationship over time until it seemed to have ended simply due to sex. It was then that I wanted to learn how to control my emotions and know how to relax my mind and body. Since then, I have been involved in a very serious intimate relationship with someone who is much more caring, understanding, and accepting of me. Ironically, it seems as though the roles in the relationship have reversed compared to my previous girlfriend. I am the one who is sexually open-minded and uninhibited while she is very anxious about pregnancy. An important thing to note is that she has had 2 abortions in the last year (both with me). I realize that this could have a serious impact, but it is causing me sexual frustration and she is becoming less and less attractive to me since she is always so tense during sex. Other than sex, she is VERY affectionate and loving, but during the act there is no getting to her. Her mind is so busy that she cannot enjoy it. Do you have any suggestions to help her loosen up?
P.S.- in case you are wondering, she was on birth control during the two conceptions and still is. I now use condoms which I never did previously. I have taken every measure to help her feel more comfortable but nothing gives her peace of mind. I feel like we are best friends but no longer have attraction physically.
Response:
You might want to use this present relationship as an opportunity to experience a deeper level of intimacy than you have had thus far. It is perfectly normal for a sensitive young woman to be a little anxious after having two abortions in one year while on birth control. It’s not enough to say you know it could have a serious impact on her level of sexual openness. It most certainly has had a big effect and it’s unrealistic to think it will go away simply because you wear condoms.
Don’t look at this as her problem and that the solution is to get her to loosen up the way you loosened up after your first relationship. Try instead to look at this situation as a healing and growth opportunity for you as well. This is a chance for you to demonstrate an emotional depth in the relationship that allows her to feel safe and cared for above and beyond your sexual needs. Only when she feels safe can she be genuinely sexually responsive to you. If you make this a personal quest, then you will get much more out of the relationship than you had before.
Love,
Deepak
