Humans are hard-wired for connection—we want to belong to something greater than ourselves. And for many people, that “greater something” is the workplace, says Beth Kaplan, author of Braving the Workplace: Belonging at the Breaking Point.
With new work structures established in the 20th century, including the 40-hour work week, minimum wage requirements, and the rise of labor unions, people began to view the workplace as a “stable source of community,” Kaplan says. Because the workplace plays a significant role in our lives and gives us a sense of purpose, it’s no wonder we seek fulfillment there, but are often left disappointed.
According to a 2024 Gallup report, half of U.S. employees would jump ship if they had an opportunity, the main reasons cited included “engagement and culture” (37%) followed by “wellbeing and work-life balance” (31%), meaning people are four times more likely to leave for these reasons than the pay or benefits.
In 2023, disgruntled employees cost U.S. organizations an estimated $1.9 trillion in lost productivity with many employees admitting they felt disconnected from their organization’s mission or that they weren’t cared for as a person.
Most employers don’t learn about their employee’s dissatisfaction until their exit interviews, says Kaplan, because people are often too cautious to share their grievances when their livelihoods are at stake. Interestingly, 42% of employees who voluntarily quit their organizations say something could have prevented them from doing so, Gallup also reports, citing they would have stayed if they’d felt valued, had a stronger manager-employee relationship, or if organizational issues, scheduling or workload had been addressed.
Workplace trauma leads to disengaged employees
In her book, Kaplan offers a list of common workplace traumas that undermine employee happiness and resilience, including: bullying, gaslighting (manipulation), physical or verbal abuse, high-pressure environments, unrealistic expectations and illegal practices.
The American Psychological Association’s Work in America Survey (2023) found that 22% of workers say their mental health was negatively impacted by a workplace trauma. With a U.S. workforce of 170 million people, that equates to 37.4 million people—more than the entire population of Canada.
When trauma occurs, an employee’s sense of belonging is often damaged or destroyed. Sometimes these traumas occur because of the unconscious behaviors that shape workplace interactions, or what Human Capital Strategist Samantha Wasserman calls “social rhythms.”
“Every day we create and respond to social rhythms when we knowingly or unknowingly exclude people. The words we use, our demeanor, the rhythm or pace at [which] we operate—it all signals whether we are open to receiving someone or closed,” says Wasserman.
Unaware leaders often create non-inclusive rhythms that hurt relationships. For example, a leader prone to quick decision-making often relies on people who think similarly or hold similar beliefs to them, leaving little time for differing opinions, says Wasserman. For instance, in a meeting, this leader might use a patronizing tone, interrupt, or shut down the ideas of people who are not in their “dominant group,” she explains.
According to Wasserman, discrimination largely occurs because these “behaviors are widespread, rampant [and] tolerated throughout the culture.”
How do companies establish a safe culture where employees thrive?
Certainly, it’s about more than hanging a “You Belong Here” sign on the door, performing lip service about inclusion or calling your organization a family. After all, a workplace is not a family, it’s a professional environment, Kaplan says.
Psychological safety refers to the belief that employees won’t be punished or humiliated for taking interpersonal risks, such as speaking up with ideas or questions. Sacha Thompson, CEO of the Equity Foundation, believes organizations need to see people as individuals, not as cogs in the wheel and that every person requires something different to be successful and to feel psychologically safe.
Leaders set the tone, she says, and they need to “understand the shadow that they cast.” She suggests leaders practice introspection and learn techniques to better respond to their team. For example, instead of patronizing, interrupting or shutting down ideas in a meeting, Thompson says a leader might ask, “Can you help me understand how you got from point A to point B?” or, “Whose perspective might we be missing here?” These questions can shift the social rhythms.
The qualities of a positive work environment
Thompson recommends performing quarterly, or at least bi-annual, 360-reviews so employees can provide honest, anonymous feedback without fear of retribution and allow organizations to gauge what’s happening across demographics and departments.
The number-one thing Thompson sees in workplaces with low psychological safety is lost or broken trust. “You lose trust when actions and words are not in alignment,” she says, adding that it’s important to be consistent and communicate clearly. Communication needs to come through various modes (e.g., a meeting, an email or one-on-one settings) because people process information differently, she says.
Team dynamics matter, too. Thompson says we need to make sure everyone feels valued, safe and connected because your organization loses the ability for innovation when people don’t feel their contributions matter—if they don’t feel they belong, they won’t give you the best of who they are.
Some studies suggest innovation, creativity and productivity increase when a company supports their employees and provides them with a safe and understanding workplace. It could also positively impact the company’s bottom line.
Paolo Gaudiano, chief scientist at Aleria, an organization that measures inclusion to help companies understand how to foster employee happiness, says that his work reveals how unequal treatment of any group within a company leads to decreased representation of that group and significant financial losses due to reduced productivity and higher turnover. Disrespecting any part of your workforce directly harms your bottom line, regardless of the specific demographic, says Gaudiano.
Belonging is an employee’s choice
Your workplace culture is responsible for creating a safe environment, fostering inclusion and providing the opportunity for belonging, but the feeling of belonging itself is something we decide for ourselves. We do this best when we brave the workplace by showing up as our best selves, says Kaplan. This could include setting healthy boundaries, communicating needs clearly and seeking out supportive colleagues.
Many modern-day workers struggle with identity dysmorphia, placing their self-worth solely in their work and the desire to be accepted, which can cause an unhealthy reliance on workplace validation and blur personal boundaries.
“Work was never meant to replace community, family or self-worth—yet, when it tries and fails, the emotional cost is steep,” Kaplan says, citing ailments including disengagement, physiological distress and burnout.
How do we belong to an organization without letting it become our identity? Kaplan defines belonging as the “innate human desire to be part of something larger than us without sacrificing who we are.”
Kaplan urges employees not to try to fit into a box. “Be yourself unapologetically,” she says.
Ask not what your employee can do for the mission, but what you can do for your employee
Historically, workers prioritized their companies’ missions, often sacrificing personal values and needs. But Kaplan argues sacrifice doesn’t make you “belong harder.”
The COVID-19 pandemic caused many employees across generations to re-evaluate their work-life balance, with many seeking organizations that would better support their well-being.
Some companies may have a difficult time placing their employees’ needs above their missions. “When you consider that, for virtually every company, people are the most valuable asset and by far the largest budget item, it is shocking that leaders are satisfied to treat human resource management as a ‘soft’ problem,” says Gaudiano. “Learning how to manage your human portfolio should be the top priority of every company and failing to do so is, in my opinion, not just a failure to employees, but also a failure to shareholders.”
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