As a high-performing entrepreneur, I always prided myself on pushing through anything. Long hours, tight deadlines, constant demands: I saw it all as part of the job. I built a couple of thriving businesses, including one of the largest facility management companies in the U.S. Northwest, raised children as a single mom and did everything “right.” Until one day, my body forced me to stop.
A sudden diagnosis of hemophagocytic lymphohistiocytosis (HLH), a rare and potentially fatal immune disorder, changed everything. I went from boardrooms to hospital beds, from conference calls to critical care. The timing could not have been worse, as it came just four months after launching my latest venture, Legacy Leader. It was the hardest leadership lesson I’ve ever had to learn: You cannot be a great leader if you abandon your own health.
Health was never the priority, until it had to be
As leaders, we often push our well-being to the back burner. We’re taught to be resilient, to show up no matter what. We wear our exhaustion like a badge of honor. But here’s the truth: Leadership doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself for the mission. It means feeling good enough to sustain it.
In the months leading up to my diagnosis, the signs were there, but I brushed them off. Persistent fatigue, trouble focusing and digestive issues that just wouldn’t go away. I chalked it up to stress or “just a busy season.” I kept telling myself, “I’ll rest after this project,” or “I just need to push through a little longer.” But HLH doesn’t wait. And it doesn’t care about your to-do list.
That diagnosis forced me into a new kind of leadership. One that required listening to my body, honoring my limits and choosing recovery over performance. And, more than that, it forced me to confront something deeper: I had attached so much of my identity to my ability to perform that I didn’t know who I was without the hustle.
You can’t be indispensable, and that’s a good thing
One of the first fears that hit me in the hospital was, “What happens to the company if I’m not there?” Like many business leaders, I had built something that, in some ways, depended too heavily on me. That fear taught me to embrace a new truth: The best leaders build organizations that thrive in their absence.
I began putting systems in place so my team could make decisions without me. We mapped out contingency plans. I trained team leads to run key meetings, gave them real authority and practiced letting go. What I discovered surprised me: The more I empowered others, the more confident and capable they became.
That experience showed me that delegation isn’t just efficient. It’s an act of trust. And trust is one of the most powerful currencies in leadership. Your legacy isn’t what happens while you’re in the room. It’s what happens when you’re not.
Don’t come back too soon
After the worst had passed, I wanted to jump back into work. That was my default setting: show strength, bounce back, don’t miss a beat. But this time, I paused. I realized that rushing back wouldn’t help my team. It would only model unsustainable behavior. So, I chose to rest. And, when I did come back, I chose to take breaks often.
That choice wasn’t easy. I wrestled with guilt, fear and the nagging belief that I was falling behind. But I came to understand something I wish I’d known earlier: True leadership isn’t about always being “on.” It’s about making smart decisions, even when they’re uncomfortable. And, sometimes, the smartest choice is to heal.
Taking care of myself wasn’t selfish. It was strategic. It allowed me to come back stronger, clearer and more connected to my purpose. It also gave my team permission to care for themselves too.
A few things I wish I’d known earlier
If you’re a business leader reading this, let me offer a few practical things I’ve learned the hard way:
- Treat your annual checkups like board meetings. Put them on the calendar and make them nonnegotiable.
- Document how your company runs. Train someone to take over core responsibilities in case you’re out unexpectedly.
- Schedule recovery time, not just vacation. Plan actual days where you unplug, whether it’s time outdoors, time offline or time with no obligations.
- Pay close attention to physical signals. That recurring headache or chest tightness isn’t just “background noise.” Get curious.
- Set limits with intention. Saying no to one project might allow you to say yes to your long-term health.
- Create a written plan, both for your absence and for your return. Make resilience part of how you build your business.
We can no longer afford to see health as something we address only when it breaks down. Prevention isn’t a luxury. It’s leadership.
The real ROI
HLH changed my life. It stripped away the illusion that I could keep going forever and replaced it with clarity, purpose and peace. Today, I lead differently. I live differently. And I share my story in the hopes that others won’t have to learn the hard way.
In my book, Your Way Back to Happy: How to Turn the Pain of Your Past Into a Future of Freedom, Purpose, and Peace, I write about how to reevaluate what success truly means and a new way to live with intention, peace and joy.
Don’t wait for a diagnosis to start leading differently. Your health isn’t a distraction from your goals. It’s the foundation that makes everything else possible.
Photo courtesy of Janelle Bruland
