Question: Will I be alone/without a man, for the rest of my life?
My D9 chart is broken, and many Vedic astrologers told me that there is something wrong with my chart, anytime I develop feelings for someone, the relationship will go bad immediately. This has been shown to be true given events in my life. I have passed the major relationship-giving periods and nothing has happened for me. I am turning 46, and there are very very few men who would be open to dating me. The few ones who would, I probably would turn my nose up at them, so the end result is that I will remain single.
Chart posted below.
My own analysis: I am Mercury, and the quesited is represented by Jupiter, significator of the 7th. I see that there is no aspect between Mercury and Jupiter. There is also no intermediary helpers such as translation of light or collection of light. Moon is healthy, not VOC, so it’s a valid chart. My interpretation is that I will be alone for the rest of my life.
A little bit of Vedic wisdom: in my D9, the Navamsa chart, which is the main divisional chart for marriage, I have Venus, the planet that is in charge of love and romance, debilitated in Virgo. Not only that, it’s at the most unfortunate degree, the 27th, the lowest, worst possible degree for a debilitated Venus. I briefly looked up the meaning of Venus at this Virgo degree, and one of the things is that the native is incredibly discriminating in matters of love. I think this is accurate. I have always been finding faults with any man who showed interest in me. When I was younger, even though I wasn’t a great beauty, I was not bad-looking either, and there were men who showed interest. But I had shot down every single one of them. Now that I am in my 40s, you would think I should lower my standards or risk being a spinster for life, but no. I met up with a man only a few days ago, and I thought he showed interest. But I just could not work up any enthusiasm on my part. There was nothing wrong with him, either, physically or in terms of his social skills. He was above average looking and had a successful career. But I just wasn’t interested. With each day that passes by, the pool of men who I am interested in and who would show reciprocal interest back, shrinks more and more. I know this on the conscious level, but on the inside, I just want to go home and mope. I would rather be home and get depressed about the past. I don’t want to date, I don’t want to have fun, I just want to be miserable.
I don’t know if I am intelligent or not, but I probably have a small amount of intelligence. I am not hot or anything, but I’d say I look presentable for a woman my age. I would say I looked even better when younger. But neither of these things did anything for me. It seems there is a huge discrepancy between what I present to the external world, and how I actually feel on the inside. Happiness is so fleeting, it is such a rare emotion in my life. The last time I was genuinely happy, was the 2 months in 2008. Everything before and after then, had been just endless tears. I am not technically depressed at the moment, but I honestly have not felt any kind of true happiness in a really really long time. I go on living because I have to; not because I want to. There doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. What I really really want, I cannot have. What I can easily achieve, doesn’t mean that much to me at all.
Anyway, sorry to turn you guys into my emotional tampon. I have been brooding yet again. Story of my life, really.
