What has been successful for us it to learn to avert conflict, which we now are able to do a lot of the time. And there are many ways to do it because usually conflict is about attachment to wanting things our way, the way we are familiar and comfortable with, or it is aversion to that which we don’t know or want.
For us it has been a lifetime practice, a gradual learning by observing how each of us asserts our attachment or aversion in our own ways.
Now if it is something that you both truly want, to avoid the conflict before it starts, you can to it together. It does mean that you will likely have to go through some episodes of not feeling resolution, clarity, assurance. And I can share with you that the first key foundational ingredient for this lifelong undertaking, this commitment to each other, to the relationship and to yourselves, is kindness. Kindness first, in all ways and in all things. Not that you can actually do it, but that you can always always be committed to doing it.
You both have natal t-squares with your Moons as their focal point, so you are both sensitive in this way. And both your Suns and your Moons are disjunct, do not aspect each other [with Moons one sign apart and Sun five signs apart], so in a fundamental way you do not see eye to eye, don’t get how the other sees things. My husband I have similar challenges, disjunction Moons, Venus that square each other. But your Mercurys do trine. And your Sun trines his Merc. too. And your Mars trine in air. These suggest that there are means for you to communicate over time, ahead of conflict. And all of this is in a setting of loosening your holds, seeing what they are really about, for yourselves. Seeing if they can be held just a bit more lightly.
Your marriage is young.
I feel there is every reason to believe it can make it. You can make it.
Kindness. Patience. Commitment to vow.
